My name is Morgan. I’m an Archmage so don’t even think about it.
When they released me from my cage, the Divas acted like I should thank them. The little guy, Liam? Ian? He acted quite pleased with himself when he windwalked me down from the Soul Tree. Yeah. Right. It’s kind of an obvious choice.
I wasn’t feeling my best when they got me to the ground. It might have been partially the company. A hairy old dwarf, a snot-nosed kid, a couple of halflings and the “heroes”. Snore.
And I hate tall people.
I felt like I was on a field trip with 4th graders. “Stay with your buddy!” All the way to the freaking elevator.
And then damn, we walk into hell. Cauldron is one serious mess. Fires, tremors, looting, panic, chaos….. My kind of town. I had half a mind to slip away, find the nearest mojito and set about some serious self preservation. But this other part of me wanted to stick it to that blowhard beholder. I mean oh my f-ing god, if I had to listen to one more speech from that guy about how he was going to unleash the unnamed one, I might have killed myself. Bor-ring!
So when snot-nose Terrem said he knew where the beholder “Mr. Orbius” lives, we all piled on that band wagon. The cleric, Buzz, was up front with the kid. He’s cute, for an elf. But not my type. He’d probably be about 5 minutes of fun, right and then the guilt and self recrimination. Or worse, he’d try to change me. Save me. Please.
The kid was driving us nuts. Blah, blah, blah. “Orbius” this and “Orbius” that. I saw the sorcerer Milly slip the kid a spell. I like her a little better now Air Blower. What ever it was though, it didn’t work. Yap, yap, yap. And then, OMFG, we had to stop and help this couple with their worldly belongings. Being a hero sucks. ‘Oh are you hurt?” “Do you need assistance?” “The streets aren’t safe.” I thought the cleric was going to faint with pleasure at being a do-gooder. So we detour to the freaking Church of St. Cuthbert. And the place is packed with people fleeing the city. I say the party’s just getting started and all these people are leaving. Weird.
Milly and Buzz disappear, literally, for a bit and when they come back, they are real quiet. No one talks as we head down the streets for Orbius’ place. And then as we get into the nice part of town, the kid starts up again. “A mean dog lives here.” “I climbed that tree.” “Mr Orbius let’s me walk along this wall.” I thought I would snap so I sidled up to Terrem and slapped a touch of fatigue spell on him. Heh.
Finally we found the house. I hoped it had a well stocked liquor cabinet. Right inside the door, the kid took off. I guess he knows the place pretty well. Sadi ran to catch him. She must have tripped something because suddenly we have two orcs in our face.
I did what any smart mage does. I took two giant steps back. Frick and Frack, the halflings (I don’t remember their names, OK? Sue me.) were all covered in armor. One of my better ideas, I thought. They’re shopkeepers and they were all “Wa wa. We’re shopkeepers! We don’t know how to fight.” And I bullied them into A. Coming with us and B. Putting on armor. The more people between me and combat, the better.
When the orcs attacked I didn’t have to do much to be behind the line of battle. Heroes. God love ’em. They went into action. Except cutey Buzz. Where’d he go off to? Dwarf guy and dragon girl squared off and started whaling on those guys. It was impressive.
I found myself standing beside Milly, the sorceress. Did I say how much I hate tall people? She was lobbing magic missiles into the fray. I lost my spellbook somewhere in the whole kidnapped and hung in a cage thing, but I do have some spells tattooed on my arms. Not that I’m using them on two puny orcs. Phttt.
The silence was uncomfortable for me. I mean my silence. There was a lot of noise from the fight. So I said to Milly, “That girl, she’s like a half-dragon, right? How weird is that?”
She looks at me and after a moment she says “That half-dragon saved your life.”
I was like “Judge much?”
And that was the end of that.
I spotted Sadi — I like her. She doesn’t say much. She was over away from the battle, by a door.
I grabbed Frack or Frick. I don’t know. Halflings pretty much look alike to me. And we walked over to Sadi.
“I hear voices. Faint but there are several. And maybe the sound of dice. I’m not sure.”
I snorted. “God, if it’s orcs no doubt they are playing Hallways and Humans. They love that stupid game.”
Sadi turned to me. “Hallways and…… what?”
“You don’t know that game? Huh. Get out much? The orcs are playing it every night in taverns. Like they have characters they ‘play’ and adventures that they go on. Pretty cerebral stuff for orcs.”
About then Frack says to me, “I have to pee.” Like I know how you pee wearing armor?
“Go talk with the dwarf. He’ll hook you up.”
I half heard Sadi say “Let’s see what’s behind this door.”
I grabbed her arm. “Wait!”
…… to be continued.
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